Billy Best Meanest Hombre in the West
by Pixar
Summary: Billy Best aka Joe Cartwright finds out that being a gunslinger is simply confusing. This is my third in the Billy Best series, let's see what mischief Little Joe gets up to this time


Billy Best...Meanest Hombre in the West..  
Rating: K

Kaci

Feedback welcome!

Little Joe stopped reading his book and pushed it under his pillow to hide it. His father had not been amused at his latest escapade with Billy Best. He had been forbidden to read Billy Best books, but he had found a new edition in San Francisco and had snuck out of the hotel to buy it. He was about half way through reading it and so far it had more action than any Billy Best book he had ever read.

Turning the lamp down low, he laid his head down wishing his Pa would hurry back to the hotel. His father had left for a late appointment but had sent his son to bed before he left the hotel. Little Joe couldn't sleep, not that he was afraid but he felt unease until his father returned for the night. Finally, about two a.m. Little Joe heard the door unlock, he could he see his father enter the room going to the lamp which was turned low on the table.

"Pa?" Joe turned in the bed toward his father.

"Little Joe, you should be asleep. I didn't mean to wake you, son." Ben started undressing for the night.

"I was awake." Joe sat up in bed watching his father. "Why were you so late?"

"The men on this project can't make up their minds. I am going to have to stay in the city longer than I had planned. If only Mr. Crowley would be reasonable."

"I don't mind, I like San Francisco." Joe scooted back down in his bed. "It's fun here. Did you know that the bookstore Adam likes has new books in every week? I need to go there again to buy more books for him and then I want to....

"Well, I'm sorry, Little Joe, but you will be returning to the Ponderosa. School will be starting soon and I don't want you to miss it."

"Pa! No! I don't want to go, besides Adam and Hoss won't be home for another three weeks."

"Joseph, you know I wouldn't ask this of you if I could prevent it. Please, just for once would you mind me without going through the histrionics?" Ben glanced down into his son's eyes which were simmering with anger. "Come now, everything will be fine, I promise you."

"You need me to stay with you! I can be a help, honest!" At the look on Ben's face, Little Joe fell back on the bed dragging the covers over his head. Ben smiled and swatted Joe on the bottom.

"Little Joe....just think you'll be traveling back home all by yourself." Ben used his most wheedling voice, he could tell Little Joe was listening..."you will be several days on the stagecoach....you will have to stay a couple nights in a hotel. Now, if I didn't trust you I wouldn't let you do that, would I ? Besides I have some important papers for you to deliver to the Bank in Virginia City for me." _Ben felt guilty lying about the papers, but he would use any excuse if he could get Joe motivated to go home.  
_  
Joe peaked out of the covers and a large smile appeared on his face. "I can travel alone....after all I'm fifteen....did Hoss or Adam travel so far by themselves at my age?"

"No......No they didn't...." Little Joe grinned as he pictured himself being so self efficient and lording it over his brothers.

"Just wait until I tell them!" Joe laughed as Ben finally pulled back the sheets on his bed.

"Let's get some rest, night Little Joe."

"Night Pa." Joe snuggled down in the covers with a happy smile, he was going to be just like Billy Best, brave and fearless, and just maybe he would have an adventure!

_________________

Ben watched the stage pull into the San Francisco stage depot. He was worried about his son but he thought Little Joe would be all right to travel to Virginia City alone. 'Now, Little Joe here is your money, put it in your shirt pocket. Don't let anyone see it." Ben pulled open Joe's coat where he found the Billy Best book in his son's pocket. 'Joe! I thought I told you not to read these books! "

"Well, you see, Pa...."

"I don't want to hear it! When I get home we are going to have a long talk about you minding me, Joseph."

Joe hung his head but slyly raised his head. "Please, Pa. The trip will be so long I need something to read." The green eyes simmered with tears begging his father for the book. Ben sighed, but handed the book back.

"All right...but this is the last Billy Best book you are ever going to buy." At Joe's nod, he hugged his son tight. "Do what the stage driver tells you to do, I'll tell him your traveling alone and to keep an eye on you. And keep those papers safe all right?"

"Pa! I'm not a baby! I will be find." Little Joe looked around embarrassed that his father was acting like....well... like a parent. The stage was going to be crowded leaving Joe with a sinking feeling. It was always difficult traveling with so many people in a stagecoach.

"I know you will son." Ben threw Joe's bags to the top of the coach then opened the door for his son. "Now, Adam and Hoss should be home in a couple of weeks from Texas. I will try to return as soon as I can." At Joe's look of disgust, Ben continued, "I'm sorry that you can't stay with me but you'll miss to much school. Hurry Little Joe there are other people waiting." Ben held the door open for Joe then helped an old lady inside the stagecoach. "I will miss you, Little Joe." At Joe's look, Ben sighed, "See you soon, son." Ben hurried to speak to the driver then stood on the side waiting for the stage to leave. Ten minutes later, Ben waved goodbye with a heavy heart.

____________________

Little Joe Cartwright was squished between a fat old man with a bad case of wheezing and a sweet old lady dressed in black with a veil. He had tried to block out the other passengers in the stagecoach but it was extremely difficult. Two men dressed in suits with bowler hats were not exactly exciting. Joe turned another page of his dime novel, "Billy Best, Meanest Hombre in the West."

"Son, does your father let you read that drivel?" Bowler hat one asked him.

"Yes sir." Little Joe hurried back to the page hoping that Bad Bart didn't kill Billy.

"Well, I would never let my son read dime novels. It's not healthy, I say." Bowler hat two nodded his head as if bowler hat one had said something extremely wise. "Why are you riding alone young man?"

Joe bit his lip to keep from telling the man to be quiet. "My father and I went to San Francisco on business, but he was detained so I had to return home because school will be starting soon." Joe sighed, these people were extremely irritating. The passengers continued to speak about how the youth of America would be the downfall of the country so Little Joe tuned them out.

Joe couldn't lay the book down, Billy Best was having gunfights every three pages of the book. Joe was glued to the page when the stage stopped abruptly, sending the passengers flying. Pushing the fat old man off him, Joe tried to sit up without squashing the lady. "Is everyone all right?" Joe was trying to access the situation in the coach...while sorting out the passengers. "Mam, can I help you?"

"Yes, thank you, Little Joe.' Joe pushed the lady onto the seat then helped the old man to sit down. The two bowler hat men pulled themselves straight and sat down on the passenger seat. "Driver! Driver! The incompetence of this stage line is deplorable!" The first hat said, while the second hat only nodded.

"OUT! " A hard voice yelled into the coach. "Get out folks!" The two men exited first then the old man beside Joe. Joe hopped out next helping the lady step down into the roadway. "Sorry, ladies and gentlemen but I'm looking for someone very important." The passengers looked scared but stood quietly.

"We want Joseph Cartwright." Joe bit his lip trying to pretend he wasn't the person they were looking for. _Why on earth were they looking for him....of course, it was Pa's important papers!  
_  
"What do ya want him for? You just can't take passengers off of this stage! This is...." A shot rang out and bowler hat one fell to the ground. Bowler two dropped to his knee and felt the man's heartbeat.

"He's dead." Bowler two looked for the driver but he saw the driver was already dead. "Please....we can't help you."

"Son...what's your name?" Little Joe froze in fear...

"His name is Billy Best....Billy, son, you stay right here." The old lady said firmly. _How was this going to work out? She liked this young man and she wasn't going to let these men kidnap him, she didn't care what she was being paid.  
_  
"Billy Best....you mean you're THE Billy Best?" The outlaw had heard and read the Billy Best books but he hadn't known it was a real person. He looked at Joe closely.

"Yes." Joe squeaked out. If anyone knew Billy Best it was Little Joe Cartwright. "Yes...I'm on my way to Denver." Joe spoke more confidently. He risked a look of thanks to the old lady, she was a quick thinker.

"Where's Joe Cartwright then? We heard he was on this stage."

"He was but he got off on the last stop." Little Joe knew that he was their only chance and a different persona took over his voice. "I really don't like being held up...." he glared at the outlaws.

"Well....we're sorry.' The biggest man said, "Are you really Billy Best the Meanest Hombre in the West?" His voice held awe and respect.

"Sure I am. Can we leave now?" Joe opened the stage door when another voice spoke up.

"Wait...we can't let these people live....we have two dead bodies."The outlaws all nodded their heads. "Sorry, Billy, but you must see our problem. Of course, we won't kill you."

Little Joe was terrified they were going to kill the other members of the stagecoach. "I wouldn't take that very well, this is my Grandmother and Grandfather...." the old man looked at Joe in horror...."and this is my Uncle Tad," pointing to bowler number two. All three passengers were frozen in terror....

"Oh....well, that seems unfriendly to kill ya family. What should we do, Ralph?"

Ralph scratched his head, "I guess they can live if'n they don't tell know one." The outlaws all agreed on this point of view then turned back to Little Joe.

"Thank you. " Joe hurriedly helped his new family back into the coach. Just as Little Joe started to climb onto the top of the stagecoach to drive away, the outlaw cleared his throat.

"Of course....I think you should come with us Billy. We would take that quite kindly. You are the only one that has seen Joe Cartwright and we could use your help." Joe paused... looking at the old lady, then he turned back to the outlaws.

"That will be okay. Grandma...you take care now, I will see you soon, and be sure _Not_ to tell the law about these men. Understand?" Joe tried to see her eyes through the veil trying to force her to understand. The old lady gathered her wits about her and gave Little Joe a quick hug.

"Of course, Billy." The old lady turned to Bowler hat two, 'Tad, you get up in the driver's seat and drive us away." Bowler two had no idea how to drive a stage but it was better than being killed. He was soon on the seat with the reins in his shaking hands.

"Here are your bags, Billy." He threw the two pieces of luggage off the stagecoach. "All ready....bye Billy."

"Bye, Uncle Tad...be careful now. Grandmother tell Uncle Ben that I miss him will you?" The man snapped the reins and the stage was on the way. Joe stood uncertainly then turned toward the head member of the outlaw gang. "I need a horse." Joe waited while one of men jumped off his horse leading it to Billy, the outlaw then climbed on behind another man.

Joe swung mounted the horse drawing a "ah" of praise from the outlaws. Hoping that he would be able to pull off this charade he started with lesson one from Billy Best. Take command. "You!" Joe pointed to one of the men, "get my bags." The man jumped down gathered them up and remounted his horse.

"Sure, Billy, glad too help." The outlaws and Billy Best rode off in search of Little Joe Cartwright.

________________________

Billy Best aka Joe Cartwright checked into the hotel under his new name....a look of fear and respect settled on the hotel manager's face. "I would like a large room with a window on the street."

"Yes sir, right away sir." Joe turned away to walk up the steps when he noticed the gang walking behind him.

"What? Are you getting rooms? You are not sharing mine!" Joe stood still glaring at them. Each one backed up a step then started back to the reception desk.

Joe looked out the window on the street hoping to see someone that could help him. He knew his father wouldn't be missing him for several days. He was supposed to send his Pa a telegraph when he arrived in Virginia City, but it was now up to him to take control of this situation.

"Yes?"

"Sorry, boss, but Ralph wants to know if you can go over to the saloon. There is a man there that says you aren't real." Jack laughed. "What a dummy."

'Yeah...okay." Joe entered the saloon with a swagger, Billy would always swagger. "Ralph. Get me a beer." Ralph jumped for the required beer as a man sitting alone started laughing. Little Joe was quaking inside but he was going to hold it together.

"So, you're Billy Best... I think you're leading these boys down a garden path, Billy Best." He tipped his hat at Joe with a huge smile on his face. "You want to try me?" The man pushed back his chair from the table standing up.

"Sit down. I want my beer first." Joe held his hands together they were shaking so badly, but he knew better than to run.

"I don't think so." The man stood in a gunfighter pose. "Now."

"Ralph, give me your gun." Ralph pulled his gun belt off handing it to Billy. Joe pulled on the belt letting it fall low on his hip, thank goodness he practiced everyday on the ranch. "Let me get the feel of the gun."

"Oh...I don't think so." The man laughed, but then heard three guns being cocked in his directions. "All right, but hurry."

Joe practiced pulling the gun out of the holster several times, hoping it would discourage the man but it didn't seem too make a difference. Joe said a quick prayer then faced the man.

Joe knew the first test was at hand. "Last chance," Joe said softly. The two men stared at each other over the card tables then the man went for his gun....a bullet hit him in the shoulder, swinging him around. Joe sat down and calmly drank his beer. _Billy Best was the best_. The saloon broke out in loud cheers as the men bellied up to the bar yelling for drinks. A doctor was called and the man was treated for a flesh wound in his shoulder. Billy Best's reputation was secure....he was living up to his name. And Little Joe Cartwright was sitting with the sweat running off his brow...._oh my God._

______________________

Joe lay on his bed with his hands behind his head. Yesterday he had been so frightened during that gunfight, he had thought he was going to die....but he had won. He'd always told his Pa that he should practice shooting his gun....maybe now his Pa would believe him. He had been a little sick afterwards but then a feeling of exhilaration had taken over, he was the best!

A knock on the door interrupted his daydreams. "Come in." Ralph entered the room and smiled at the young man on the bed...he was so delighted he had become a friend of the great Billy Best. "Hi, Billy. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, Ralph, sit down."

"Billy, I was wanting to ask about a few things."

"Okay."

"Well, remember in your book, "Billy Best...Beats the Bad Men?"

Joe nodded his head, he had read all the books about ten times so he definitely remembered. 'Yes?"

"Well....did you really jump off the Grand Canyon with your horse, land on a ledge, then jump in the roaring river below?" Ralph leaned forward with anticipation...he had never quite believed that part of the story.

Joe raised his eyebrow but smiled as he fell into the game..."Yes, it was a daring risk but I had to try to get away from the Dawson gang....you remember they had killed a friend of mine and I had taken revenge on them...."

Ralph nodded his head, he had read the same dime novel ten times, himself. "I see....but I would have thought the horse would have broken his legs..."

"Nah....he was okay....you should try it some time." Joe bit his lip with the thought of Ralph jumping off the Grand Canyon.

"Well....I might." Ralph was trying to picture himself jumping but he couldn't quite imagine it. "Another thing, in your first book you said you were an orphan. So how did you get a Grandma and Grandpa?"

Joe had forgot that detail but he was up to the challenge. "I found my family later, you see, I had been captured by gypsy's from a loving family, then I had escaped but hit my head and lost my memory. It wasn't until later I found out, but of course I couldn't write about them in my books, because I had to keep that secret."

Ralph nodded his head in amazement, "Why did you have to keep it secret?"

"Ralph think about it, the men that I had fought with would have taken my family hostage." Joe said sharply.

"I see....Uh...Billy, we need to find that Cartwright kid, we need to hurry."

"I told you he rented a horse and left town. Look, I'm tired I'll talk to ya later." Ralph nodded and left the room, but he was going to check out the livery stable, maybe they could catch up to Little Joe Cartwright.

______________________

Adam and Hoss were exhausted. They were about a week away from home as they made a campfire that night. They had talked themselves out on the trip so they were mainly quiet as they poured coffee in their cups, blowing on the drink to cool it, Adam grinned. "I wish little brother was here to wait on us."

"Yeah....that would be nice." Hoss really missed Little Joe. "He's a good kid Adam....just a touch...uh...."

"Wild? Thoughtless? Immature? Should I go on?" Adam chuckled softy at the look on Hoss' face. "Come on, Hoss. You know Little Joe as well as I do."

"Adam you don't give that boy enough credit." Hoss knew that Little Joe and Adam were jealous of each other. "He's smart...maybe as smart as you." At the look on Adam's face....Hoss smiled. "Yeah...he's sneaky....just like his older brother."

"We are nothing alike! He hates school. Him and his friends are running wild half the time and Pa does nothing to reign him in."

"Oh....I seem to remember Pa spanking our little brother quite a few times."

"He deserves it....probably about ten times more then he gets it. And....let's not forget the latest little escapade of his, pretending to have amnesia so he wouldn't have to finish the history project. If that would have been you or me....well, Pa let him off way to lightly."

"Adam, Joe could barely sit his seat on Cochise all the way home....and I didn't think it was real nice of ya to snicker at him." It was quite a sight seeing Joe riding high in his stirrups so his butt wouldn't make contact with his saddle. "Well....I still miss him. He's my partner." Hoss remembered Little Joe as a babe in arms, he was the sweetest little thing and even old Adam had been smitten with him. "You know ya love him."

Adam smiled to himself, he knew that he was wrapped around Joe's little finger, but he wasn't going to let Little Joe know that, someone had to keep perspective in this family.

_________________

Ben sent home a wire a week later. Little Joe had been told to send a telegraph message as soon as he arrived in Virginia City. _That boy._ Ben waited around the telegraph office for an hour but finally told them to deliver the wire to the hotel. After several business meetings Ben made his way back to the hotel to find that a message had been pushed under the hotel room door. Opening the envelope Ben sucked in his breath.

_**To: Ben Cartwright**_

_**Little Joe has not arrived from San Francisco.**_

_**Hop Sing**_

Fear like a sharp knife cut through Ben....his son was missing.

______________________

Joe thought Billy Best should be more daring. Besides having the one gunfight his time had been pretty boring. The outlaws were still looking for Joe Cartwright, but he had made up a story that Joe had left town. If they would only tell him why they wanted his father's papers, he would be able to spin a yarn that they would believe. If there was one thing he knew it was how to tell a white lie without being caught. _Maybe I can have a little fun with Billy Best._

"Billy....Ralph says that we should be making a move to find that Cartwright kid. I don't understand why Ralph wants that kid so bad. I mean I know it's for the ransom but he's probably only worth a couple of hundred dollars."

Joe bit his lip..._it sounded like Ralph was playing fast and loose with his partners. Ralph was goin' to be makin' a profit. Yes sir....but maybe he could get in on the action himself_. "Tell Ralph I want to speak to him, Eddy." Joe sat down trying to piece the information together..._kidnapping....but did he know about the papers his father had given him?_

Ralph hurried over to the hotel it was wise not to upset Billy Best. He was the first real hero that Ralph could ever remember meeting'. He had read all his exploits in the Billy Best dime novels. _Yep...he sure was a true hero._ Ralph tapped lightly on the door, Billy hated to be awoken up.

"Come in." Billy Best was in command. "Ralph...we need to talk."

"OH....about what Billy?"

"About you collecting ransom for Joe Cartwright not to mention the rest of the ransom money you are keeping for yourself."

Ralph blinked, he didn't know how Billy had found out but he wasn't surprised. "Look, Billy, I'll share with ya there's no need for the other's to find out about that." Ralph wiped his face with a handkerchief he sure didn't want the great Billy Best mad at him.

"So, tell me about it. Where did you hear about Joe Cartwright, anyway?"

"Well, this here fellow, he met me at the Duck and Dog Saloon. He said I could make sum money if'n I just kidnapped this here kid for him. Three thousand dollars, Billy, have ya ever seen so much money?"

"Sure....that's nothing. Who was the man, what was his name?"

"I don't rightly know his name....something like Crowley. Doesn't make any difference to me, all I have to do his take this kid to him." Ralph's face lit up in a big smile. "We could make some big money Billy."

"Ralph I know of a better way to make money. We will ransom Joe Cartwright to his father. Everyone knows that the Cartwright's are worth millions of dollars." Ralph's eyes widened at that sum of money.

"Millions! Why that crook was goin' to cheat me!" Ralph threw his hat to the floor and stomped on it. "I checked the livery stable and they said they hadn't rented no horse to Cartwright." Ralph looked at Joe suspiciously.

"Really? I guess he must have gotten the horse elsewhere...don't worry, Ralph, we'll find Joe Cartwright. I want that money as badly as you do....Mr. Ben Cartwright will be glad to hand it over to me." Joe turned to the mirror and smiled wickedly, _this was going to be fun!_

_______________________

Ben Cartwright traveled on the stage talking to different Sheriff's along the way. His son had to have gotten off the stage at one of the stops. At the third stop Ben hit pay dirt. "Sheriff, so there was a stage robbery killing two men. But, what about my son? Did anyone see him?"

"No....there was an old lady, her husband and a man wearing a bowler hat but they left soon as they could. They reported the death of one of the men and the stage driver but they didn't mention a young boy. How old is your son?"

"He's fifteen." Ben didn't understand any of this. His son had been kidnapped but why wasn't it reported? "Where is the older lady now, do you know?"

"She was going on to Virginia City, I believe. She can't tell you anything though."

"Sheriff, I remember that lady, I helped her onto the stage with my son in San Francisco. So why didn't she mention him?" Both men shook their heads but Ben decided to go to Virginia City to see if he could find the lady in question.

____________________

Mavis Travis was tired. It had been a long day and she was tired of men pawing her. The life of a saloon girl was a hard life....she didn't want to think about how many times she had been at the mercy of her employer's and how many beds she had shared with them. This time her luck had come in, she was going to be rich....rich enough to go home to live with her family....with money to help out. She had to leave before that man Crowley caught up with her, she had already paid off the other two men on the stage, a little money went a long way toward being forgetfulness.

___________________

Ben found Sheriff Coffee as soon as he arrived in town. Roy had not any news to relate, Little Joe had just disappeared. Ben asked at the stage depot about the old lady but they denied ever seeing the woman. "But she had to get off here."

"Sorry, Ben, but there were two men and a saloon girl. That's it." Ben thanked the man unsure now what to do. _'Where are you son?'_

____________________  
_

Joe strode down the street in his blue suit. He had always wanted to wear black clothes like his brother Adam but his Pa had said one son dressed like a funeral director was enough. But, Joe secretly envied his older brother's sense of style and now he was going to do just what he wanted. The new pearl handled gun glistened in his new holster. He looked right smart as Hoss would say.

"Well, if it isn't Billy Best." Several men had tried to beat him at the draw this week but he handily taken care of them, mostly just farm kids looking for a name.

Joe glared at the man, "let me by."

"Nope, you'll have to fight me first. I read of your exploits but I don't believe half of them. My name is Jed Stuart....if you want to know who's goin' kill you."

"I wouldn't be to sure of that Stuart. I was on my way to dinner why don't you join me." Joe held out his hand, feeling it held firmly.

"Sounds good to me." The two men went to Myra's Cafe for a long leisurely meal. The gunfight could wait.

_______________

Adam and Hoss rode into the dusty cow town after several days of hard travel. Dismounting, they looked around the town but didn't see much going on. "Let's stable the horses then find a saloon, hotel and dinner in that order." Adam was tired and dirty but he needed a long cold drink to wash the dust out of his throat.

"I hear ya, Adam.' They walked into the stable and heard two men talking in loud voices.

"I tell ya he's goin' take him."

"Nah, Stuart will git him, you'll see."

"You want to make a bet on that? Billy is really good. I saw him take Smith last week. Course it was only a flesh wound, but he'll shoot straighter this time."

Adam cleared his throat, "Excuse me, but my brother and I are very tired and we would like to stable our horses."

"Sure, Mr. Just leave em' in the stalls, I'll git to em." The stable hand went back to talking to his friend, ignoring the Cartwrights.

Shrugging, Adam and Hoss walked outside but there had been a change in the activity of the streets. People were lining up on each side, wagons filled with kids were jockeying for the best position to see. "Must be a parade." They nodded at each other then walked into the saloon. Sitting down, Hoss yelled to the barkeep, "We need a cold beer!"

"Okay, okay." The barkeep rushed to pour two beers taking them to the table, then ran back to the swinging doors to look outside. They smiled at each other but starting talking about how much longer it would take to get home.

"Probably a couple days....it sure will be good to get home, I wish Little Joe could have came on this trip with us." Hoss took a long swallow of his beer.

"Well, Pa is not ready yet to let his young chick into the cold cruel world. Besides Little Joe can be a bit difficult to handle, I'm glad Pa took him to San Francisco with him." Hoss kept watching the barkeep, who was glued to looking over the doors to watch the street.

"What are ya looking at mister? Is there going to be a parade?"

"Heck no, a gunfight." The barkeeper wasn't moving.

"A gunfight? What about all them kids out there?" Hoss was surprised that people would bring their kids to see someone killed.

"Course their out there....it's Billy fightin' today, no one wants to miss that."

"Really." Adam and Hoss smiled at each other. "I guess we ought to watch that Adam."

"You can, I am sitting right here, I'm exhausted." Adam tipped back in his chair and pulled the hat over his eyes. Time seemed to slip away as he fell into a light sleep. A loud report of a gun woke him up, sitting up straight he yawned, "I guess I missed the fight." He looked around to see Hoss and barkeep at the saloon doors. "Well, who won?"

"It looks like that guy named Stuart did. The kid was fast though, he might have took him if that young kid hadn't run into the street during the gunfight." Hoss walked back to the table. "You about ready to leave for the hotel?"

"Yeah." Adam stood up and threw a silver dollar on the table. "So, he lost, that's too bad. What did you say his name was?"

Hoss shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, I could barely see him with the crowd in front of the door. Hey, barkeep, what is the kids' name?"

"Why Billy Best of course." Hoss sucked in his breath then looked at his brother.

"Nah...it couldn't be....could it?" Both men raced out of the door knocking over two chairs, a table and the barkeeper.

____________________

Adam and Hoss rushed into the doctor's office fearing the worst, but stopped on the threshold. Little Joe was standing nonchalantly talking to the doctor, the only sign of injury was a sling on Little Joe's right arm.

"What is going on here?" The doctor demanded as Little Joe looked on with surprise and seeing the look on Adam's face, a little trepidation.

Little Joe raised his left hand toward Adam, "Now Adam, I can explain everything."

"Sure you can."

" Look Adam, Hoss, I'm glad you made it here safely. Doctor, these are my cousins." Joe looked straight at Adam trying to convey his message to play along. "They are here to help me."

"What...what are ya talking about, Litt...." Hoss started to say,when Adam shook Hoss' arm hard to stop him talking.

"Adam, I've had about enough of you shushing me!" Hoss pulled Adam toward him by the front of his shirt.

"Hoss, please....I'm sorry Doctor, these two are a little....you know?" Joe raised his eyebrows then saw the doctor's face clear.

"I see." Turning to Adam and Hoss he spoke very slowly...." your... cousin... is all right. Everything... is... fine. "

Adam's eyes shot daggers at his little brother but he didn't utter a sound. Hoss was so confused that he still hadn't let go of Adam. Joe hurried over and gently removed Hoss hand from Adam's shirt. "It is so good to see you. I have been in a little gunfight but I'm fine. I've been expecting you."

At this, Adam said silkily. "Can we speak to you privately,Jo...uh."

"Billy." The doctor added for him helpfully.

Adam grit his teeth, "Billy, can we speak to you... now?"

Joe nodded his head he didn't like that look on Adam's face. "Yes, excuse us doctor, can we use your surgery room for a minute for a private conversation?"

"Well, I guess, but why not..."

Joe leaned close to the doctor's ear, "_They get very excited and I must have total quiet to explain things to them. I'm sure you understand, a man in your profession?" _

The doctor studied the men two faces then nodded at Joe. 'I understand." The doctor opened the door to the surgery then shut it quietly behind them.

"Little Joe...what are up to? Where is Pa? Why are you pretending to be Billy Best again? **I am going to wear you out!**" Adam could barely get the sentences out, he was so angry, the worst part was having the doctor thinking he was an idiot of some sort.

Hoss reached over pulling Little Joe into a big hug, "you're a caution, Little Joe, a real caution." Hoss said admiringly.

Joe let a few tears escape him as he hugged his big brother back. 'I missed ya, Hoss."

Hoss wiped away a few tears himself. "Okay, what did ya do with Pa?"

Joe laughed aloud, "Pa is in San Francisco on business, he sent me on home to go to school, so..."

"That explains everything, you didn't want to go to school." Adam sniped aloud.

"NO.....that's not it. I was held up on the way home on the stagecoach, I was carrying important papers for Pa, so they were looking for Joe Cartwright."

Adam sat down, this was going to be a long story, Joe's stories usually were. "Go on....so how did you get away?"

"That was the great part.....the men thought I was Billy Best...gunslinger."

"And what would give them that idea?" Adam by this time was looking at his nails, as if he was unconcerned...._Joe didn't like that at all_.

"This little old lady told them I was Billy Best...." at their look of confusion, Joe continued..."that's a long story, never mind, but it saved my life....because my gang think I'm the best thing they ever met!"

"Your gang....you have a gang?" Adam raised his head and Little Joe took a step backward.

"Well, uh....yes. They killed the driver and a passenger so of course I went along their plans."

"And what were their plans?"

"Why, to kidnap Little Joe Cartwright." Joe said slowly.

Hoss smacked his head and sat down on the surgery bed. "I need a drink. You mean you kidnapped yourself?"

"It's very easy to understand. I had to protect the other passengers, didn't I?" _Joe stepped back a few more steps from Adam. _

"What happened to the old lady?"

"That was really funny, Adam. I told them that the old lady, the old man and bowler hat two, were my relatives." Joe stopped with a look of pride on his face. "See, they were killers but they couldn't kill Billy Best Grandma and Grandpa, could they?"

Hoss had completely lost look on his face...."Grandma and Grandpa? But Joe...what is a bowler hat two?"

"Oh...Hoss. Another passenger in a bowler hat, see they killed bowler hat one...so that only left bowler hat two." Hoss nodded his head as if he understood....Joe would explain to him later. "That was Uncle Tad."

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose. "So Pa is completely in the dark about all this? What papers are so important, I don't remember any of our plans that would be..."

"Adam, you don't know everything! Look, you have to be my cousins because my gang will kill you if they find out your Cartwright's. You just take my lead and everything will be fine."

"Are you out of your mind? You are going home with us tomorrow, after a good night's rest. **We are not becoming part of your gang!**." Adam was almost shouting at this point when the door was thrown open to the surgery room. Four men entered with guns drawn and scowls on their faces.

"Billy, you okay? " Ralph didn't like the look of these men, especially that one in black. He looked really mean and Billy didn't seem to like him either.

"I'm fine...these are my cousins, Ralph."

"More relatives? I swear Billy you need to write a book about finding your relatives. Are these the men that helped you get away from the gypsy's?"

Adam hid his eyes...he had a terrible headache starting. "Gypsy's?"

"Yes, Adam, remember the gypsy's had me but I escaped to find the bosom of my family?"

"Oh...yes....those gypsy's."

"Billy, you should get some sleep, let us help you to the hotel." Ralph gently took Joe's good arm, helping him. "You two, come on, you can get a room at the hotel. Billy needs his rest now."

The gang left the doctors while Adam and Hoss stared at each other. "Uh...let's get a room, Adam." Hoss trailed along behind the gang... Adam turned to leave when the doctor again appeared.

"Would you like a headache powder? You look very....upset." Adam glared at the doctor, _wondering if he should just leave Little Joe to get on with his own life...or save him for Pa to punish. _

"No thank you." Adam followed behind Hoss, _why does life never get any easier with Little Joe?_

________________________

Ben Cartwright was at the end of his patience. He had traveled back and forth between San Francisco and Virginia City, without any sign of Little Joe. Arriving back in town he went to Roy's office hoping that he might have heard some news.

"Ben! Glad you're back. I received a telegraph message from Adam. " Roy went to hand it to his friend but Ben jerked it out of Roy's hand...."at least I think it's from Adam."

**Roy Coffee**

**Trip interrupted. In Mason City. Found Billy Best. Please notify Pa.**

**Adam Best**

Roy became alarmed as Ben's face turned bright red with anger. "Billy Best! That boy is going to the woodshed!"

"Now, Ben...we don't know what's going on, I think you should sit down and rest."

"Rest! I'm catching the next stage to Mason City!." Ben rushed out of the office thinking about how many ways he would be able to restrict Joe for the next ten years.

_____________________

A knock on the door brought a soft, "come in." Adam entered the hotel room shutting the door softly behind him. Joe sat up in bed surprised to see his brother.

"Adam! Ralph always watches this room."

"Shh!" Adam said quietly. He sat down on the edge of the bed close to his little brother. "We need to have a talk. Ralph is passed out downstairs, drunk."

"Talk?" Joe scooted back to the headboard, drawing the covers closer to him.

"Yes. I want the truth, Joe." Adam thought he could tell Joe's lies..._at least, most of the time. _

"I don't lie, Adam." Joe said. _Maybe he stretched the truth a little. _

Adam pulled Joe to him, hugging him hard. "Why can't you stay out of trouble, buddy?"

Joe chuckled out loud. "I don't know. Don't you like to have fun, Adam?"

"Not this kind!" Adam smiled then spoke quickly. "We are going to leave the first chance we get. Get your stuff together and be ready. Joe, when Pa finds you, you aren't going to sit for a week. I sent a telegram to Virginia City to Roy, he will tell Pa where we are."

"That's not fair! It wasn't my idea to be Billy Best." A pout appeared on Joe's face making Adam laugh again. "You didn't sign Cartwright did you? The men are watching everywhere."

"No, I signed it Best. Okay, maybe I can smooth Pa over for you. How's your arm?"

"It hurts a little but it will be fine."

"All right, keep a lookout for my signal. If you're with the gang, I'll say, "the weather is going to get hot."

"Adam, I didn't want to shoot those men I outdrew in those gunfights...honest. Can I tell you something?"

"Yes."

"I was so afraid the first time...I thought for sure I was going to be killed and Pa wouldn't know where I was." Adam glanced down, Joe had a tight hold of his shirt. "I wouldn't have been buried next to Mama."

"Oh, Joe." Adam held his hand very tight. "You know that we want to keep you safe. You are going to live for a long time....now go back to sleep, I'll see you later." Adam tucked the covers around the Meanest Hombre in the West....and smiled. Joe was a good looking kid, he just wanted to keep him safe.

"Adam...I don't want to kill Ralph or Eddy. I like them." The words were uttered with complete sincerity.

"You like them? Joe they are killers, you know that."

"I know...but they are good to me....I just can't shoot them, I can't."

Adam nodded his head but didn't answer, Ralph and Eddy were going to jail. Sometimes he forgot how young Little Joe really was...he still had to grow up.

________________________

Adam and Hoss tried to stay in the background the next few days. They had been in the saloon the day before when a man had come in challenging his little brother to a gunfight. Adam had stood up ready to take matters into his own hands, when Joe started speaking. "Yes...we could fight, but I always win. You do know that right?"

'Uh...you didn't once, you got shot!"

"That was because I didn't fire because there was a child in the street, this time my friends," Joe pointed to the members of the gang, "will be sure to prevent that. I have _Never_ lost. Do you want to die?" Joe's green eyes narrowed as he glared at the man.

The sweat was running off Hoss' face as he waited for the answer. He had never seen Little Joe with that look on his face, he didn't even know that he was capable of looking so tough.

The man looked at all the men realizing he might have made a mistake. "Well....I guess I got my facts wrong." He turned almost running out of the saloon while the gang roared with laughter.

"Billy, you sure are a card....one look that's all it took. " Ralph was very proud of Billy, he was becoming very fond of this lad.

Joe laughed but he felt almost sick with relief, he had enough of Billy Best for a while. "Adam, Hoss how about if we go back to the hotel for dinner."

"Good idea." Adam and Hoss started out the door when a cough stopped them.

"I'm getting' powerful hungry myself. I'll join ya, Billy." Ralph made to get up when Joe's voice answered.

"No....I need to talk about the family, privately, Ralph. I'm sure you understand." Joe looked sternly at the outlaw.

"Sure...I understand." Ralph sat down with a frown on his face. "I'll see ya, later. "

The three brothers sat down at the table. "Joe...we are leaving soon. I have been to the stable and bought you a horse." At the look on his kid brother's face, Adam spoke with force, "don't you even think of defying me."

"Adam....I'm not honest. I want to go home to Pa." The relief of saying those words brought tears to Joe's eyes. "But shouldn't we wait to see if Pa shows up here in town?"

"No...we have to leave while we can. Pa might not get the message for a long time. Just be ready."

Joe bit his lip...he hoped there wouldn't be any trouble.

"Ah....Little Joe, don't you worry none, I'm not gonna let nothin' happen to ya." Hoss laid his hand over Joe's, the two brother's had a bond that would last a lifetime.

________________________

A tap at the hotel room door brought Little Joe to his feet. Gathering his things he opened the door quietly to let in Adam and Hoss. "I'm ready." Adam nodded but Hoss gave Little Joe a hug, then they more or less tiptoed out the door. Hurrying to the stable, Joe found that his brothers already had the horses saddled. They mounted, walking their horses so they wouldn't bring attention, to the edge of town. "It will take a couple of days to reach Carson City."

"Let's get out of here!" The three kicked their horses galloping quickly to put as much distance as possible between them and the gang.

________________________

Ben Cartwright sighed as the stage pulled into Mason City. This had been a long journey and he was extremely tired. Stepping into bright sunshine he noticed that it was a small town, not worth much notice, probably why he had missed searching for his son here.

The wire from his son was signed Adam West, so he wasn't going to be using the name Cartwright. Going straight to the Sheriff's office he entered to find the Sheriff asleep at his desk. "Sheriff....excuse me, I need to ask you a few questions."

"What? Oh...." the man yawned throwing his arms apart to stretch. "What do ya want?"

"I'm looking for three men. A young man maybe using the name Billy Best...a big man..."

The Sheriff put up his hand to stop Ben talking. "Sure, I know Billy Best. Look!", the man pulled out the book, "_Billy Best An Arrow From An Indian_," the book had been signed, "_To Sheriff Andrews, Best of Luck, Billy Best. _

Ben thought he was going to beat Joe after all. "That's really nice. Do you know where I can find him right now?"

"Well....I'll tell ya....he was at the hotel with his cousins, Adam and Hoss, but they ain't there no more."

"Where is he?" Ben said softly.

"I don't rightly know. Billy's gang done rode out lookin' for them, but they haven't come back." The Sheriff yawned again. "Course, they have to come back cause they ain't paid the hotel bill, yet."

" What gang did Billy have?"

"Oh...a rough lookin' bunch of men....kill ya as soon as look at ya, but they been right nice in town."

"I see." Ben asked a few more questions but decided he might have better luck at the hotel. He was wrong. "Yes, Billy and his cousins had mysteriously disappeared early one morning, and Billy's gang, worried that the cousins had kidnapped Billy Best took off to find them. Of course, they would be back cause they hadn't paid their hotel bill, and you could always count on Billy Best to pay his way. "Do you want to see my signed copy of, "_Billy Best Beats the Desperadoes?" _

"No, thank you."

Ben left for the livery stable, the man remembered selling the horse to Adam and that he had taken the horse in the middle of the night. "If you ask me, Billy ought to get rid of those cousins of his, they were just hangers' on, if you know what I mean."

"Yes, I can see your point. I need to buy a horse and be pointed the way out of town that Billy, his cousins and the gang went."

"Just north mister, that's the way to Carson City." Ben paid money to have his bag sent to Virginia City. He rode out of town, thinking about where he had gone wrong raising his youngest son, Joseph. Not to mention the said, cousins.

________________________

The boys made camp near a creek, it didn't take long to make a small campfire. Adam thought it would be safe at least for the night, tomorrow they might make it to Carson City. They had settled down with a cup of coffee and a few beans to eat. "I can't wait to get home to Hop Sing....hmm...I can just taste his steak and potatoes." Hoss was almost drooling at the thought.

Little Joe smiled at his big brother, " I miss his chocolate cake."

Adam smiled at the thought of Joe's chocolate cakes. "Little Joe, do you remember your second birthday?"

"No..." Joe looked suspiciously at his brothers.

"_You were covered head to toe in chocolate cake. Hop Sing had put the cake up high on a shelf so you couldn't reach it before the party, Marie was dressing and Pa, Hoss and I were outside. Somehow you climbed up on the cabinet reaching with your finger tips to touch the cake plate. There was a loud crash and everyone rushed to the kitchen to find you covered in cake! I will never forget the look on your face. You were licking and stuffing cake into your mouth as fast as possible_." Adam and Hoss were laughing so hard, that Joe had to join in. _"After that there was no keeping you from chocolate cake." _

Laughing the brothers finished dinner settling down next to the fire. "Little Joe, how come you are so much trouble? Pa is going to wear you out boy, when we get home."

"No he isn't." Joe sounded so confident that both brother's wondered if he had hit his head.

"Well....remember a couple of months ago, when you swore you would never be Billy Best again?"

"Sure...but it's not my fault I'm Billy Best. Really....it's Pa's fault." Joe shook his head to himself. "Yeah...Pa sure got me in trouble. I think we need to have a long talk." A silence settled over the campfire.

"I can't wait for you to tell him that, Little Joe." Hoss grinned laying down on his blanket still feeling empty inside.

"Joe, where are those papers that Pa had you hide?" Adam asked.

"In my boot...Ralph would never think of that place. Wait, I'll get them." Joe sat up and pulled off his cowboy boot. The papers all crinkled in an envelope came out...."uh...they smell a bit." Adam raised his eyebrow but didn't comment.

Adam unsealed the envelope pulling out the papers. Blank sheets of paper spread out before him. "Joe, are you sure these are the right papers?"

"Sure....what's the matter?" Joe looked at the papers. "There's nothing on them!" Not sure what to think, he stared at his brother. "Pa gave me the wrong envelope."

"Maybe." Adam was sure that his father had played a trick on Joe to get him to go home, but the trick had backfired, Little Joe was determined to guard the papers with his life. "Joe, did Ralph ever ask for the papers?"

"No...that's strange isn't it. All he said was he wanted Joe Cartwright."

"So, he was supposed to kidnap you, but why?" Adam tried to reason it out but he needed more information. Joe spoke softly, "Pa lied to me, Adam. It was a trick." Adam said nothing because he was sure Little Joe was right. Joe scooted down in the blankets covering up his head, it would be a long time before he fell asleep.

_______________________

"Ralph, I'm hungry....we should have got food before we left." The outlaws sat by the campfire with empty bellies and their tempers were getting out of control.

"Billy is up ahead of us somewhere, being held captive my those cousins of his, now that is the important thing to remember!" _Ralph was getting' plain mad...couldn't they think of Billy Best...in the throes of despair_?

"Do ya think they got food?" Eddy couldn't help it, his stomach was growling.

"Sure...and we'll get the food as soon as we catch them. Relatives are always sneaky, you have to watch out every minute for relatives. That's why our gang is so good, no relatives!" All the men nodded, Ralph was right as usual.

________________

Ben had ridden his horse hard, but finally made a camp. He was terribly worried about his youngest son, but he had faith in Joe's big brothers that they would take good care of him. Sipping his coffee he couldn't decide if it was all his fault for letting Little Joe go home alone, or Joe's fault for being Billy Best. Sighing, he laid down looking at the bright stars thinking about his boys.

The next morning saw all three groups on the trail to Carson City. Hoss, Adam and Little Joe had set off about a hour after dawn, hoping they would make it to Carson City before the gang caught them. Ralph and the gang had started at dawn, they were powerful hungry, and Ben had set off before dawn, worried about his sons. Soon, they would all meet.

Adam called a halt about noon for a quick bite of jerky. Not very tasty but it would hold them over until they reached Carson City. "Hoss, let's water the horses then we'll be ready to go." Adam and Hoss led the horses to a small stream nearby while Little Joe sat quietly on a large rock looking out into the distance. "Billy!" The loud whisper made Joe fall off the rock. "Billy, don't you worry, we're here to save ya." Ralph held down his hand to help Joe to his feet. "Where are those cousins of yours?"

"They're watering the horses...but Ralph why are you here?"

"Why, to save ya, Billy. We knew them cousins of yours were no good. Now, we'll hide and shoot them when they get back here." Ralph started dragging Billy by the arm behind the trees.

"NO! I don't want to shoot them!" Joe was at a loss how to get out of this situation. "Look, I'll go with you but let's leave them here. I'll tell my cousins something."

"Billy, you're makin' a mistake. Relatives are best off meetin' their maker." At Joe's look of horror, he patted him on the back. "All right. But, we have to tie them up so we can get your horse."

"All right. You hide here and I'll be right back."

"No...I think I'll go with ya." They set off to the creek but Joe could hear his brother's returning, as he turned to tell Ralph, it was already to late.

"Hold it right there, Adam and Hoss. You boys got sum explainin' to do. Come on, back to the camp." Adam and Hoss led the horses back while Little Joe followed along behind them. "Stop right there." The rest of the gang joined them with a look of hunger on their faces.

"Where's the food?" Eddy started going thru the saddlebags, yelling out, "it's jerky!" The men divided it up chewing it and swallowing it down fast. "That sure is good."

"Tie them up." Soon Adam and Hoss were hogtied and sat down near a large rock with shade. "Now, I wanted to kill ya, but Billy, wants ya to live, why I don't know. Any cousins that would kidnap their own kin for money is not to fit to live."

"What money?" Hoss asked confused.

"You sure are sly! Why the money that no good devil Rod Stenson... put a bounty on Billy's head. You know, "_Billy Best and the Rangers." _

Adam couldn't help himself. "Ah....I had forgotten." Joe frowned at him, this was not the time for levity.

"Someone will be by soon, they'll let you go. I'm going with Ralph and the gang." Joe stood up straight looking down on his brothers. "You tell Uncle Ben that I miss him but I will see him soon."

"J....Billy you stay right here do you understand me!" Adam was giving his brother the "look" daring him to ride off with the outlaws.

**"Everyone hands up**!" Ben Cartwright stood looking at the scene before him. Two of his sons were tied up and his youngest son getting ready to ride off to who knows where. "**What in the blazes is going on!"**

Ben raised his eyebrows as he saw Little Joe raise his hands with the outlaws. "Joe, you can lower your hands and untie Adam and Hoss." Ben waved his gun toward his sons that were tied up. "Are you all right?"

"Oh...yes,sir." Joe rushed over untying Adam and Hoss quickly.

"Pa...we need to have a talk about...." Adam started talking when Ralph interrupted him.

"Dang it! Billy, don't tell me this is more relatives! Son, you should have taken my advice and gotten rid of them!" Ralph was outraged that Billy relatives were holding him hostage!

"Be quiet!" Ben shouted.

"I won't be quiet, you don't understand! First we have two Best boys and now we have you! Who are you!"

"I'm their father!" Ben was developing an extremely sore throat.

"I knew it! You're just like them. Now, let me say something, Mr. Best. We were not going to kill your sons, we just tied them up so we could leave with Billy."

"Oh...Billy was going with you?" Ben turned to Joe with a question on his face..._Joe's face turned very pale. _

"I didn't want to...but they wanted to kill Adam and Hoss....I had to save them!" Joseph yelled back at his father.

"Do _Not_ raise your voice to me young man."

"Sorry. Look, this is a long story but I want you to know, even with everything that has occurred, that I forgive you."

Adam and Hoss looked at Little Joe in horror, the boy was mad. Ben's face turned scarlet, he made a choking sound and both of his older sons ran toward him, fearing he was having a stroke. As all the attention turned to Ben, Ralph and his gang made a run for it. They had almost made it to their horses when Adam yelled, "Raise your hands!" The only problem was that Adam forgot he didn't have a gun. The gang paused, then lit out of the clearing on their horses.

Ben sat down on the ground with his three sons surrounding him. "Everyone sit!" Adam, Hoss and Little Joe sat. "Now, tell me from the first, you start Adam."

The story didn't take long with Adam omitting many of the facts. All eyes turned to Little Joe. "Joseph it's your turn....and you better tell the truth the first time."

"Pa...this is all your fault!" Adam and Hoss both hid their eyes...they couldn't watch. "You sent me on this trip home, knowing, **Knowing**, that you lied to me!" Joe voice was very firm and righteous.

"I what? What are you talking about?" Ben wondered if his hearing was going.

"You sent me off with a fake letter to give to the bank, remember? And when I tried to protect that letter at the cost of my life.." Joe patted his chest dramatically. "I don't see how you can sit there and yell at me!"

"It was only blank paper.....I don't' understand!"

" I was kidnapped by Ralph and his gang, but I saved myself because I am Billy Best."

"Joseph, I told you to never be Billy Best again! How dare you defy me!"

"I would have been killed if I didn't become Billy Best. Look, Pa it's all very confusing but the old lady in the stagecoach told them that I was Billy Best."

"Joe...I know you saw that lady, and I saw that lady, but she disappeared and never reported you were missing."

Joe shook his head...._the tears fell as he tried to explain how the old lady, became Grandma, the wheezing old man, Grandpa, and bowler hat two, became Uncle Tad. Then how Ralph loved Billy Best Dime Novels and Joe became a member of his gang, and how he never figured out why he had been kidnapped in the first place. This brought him to the flight to escape the gang and how everyone ended here_.

Ben was at a loss....it was true he did give Joe that fake letter, but he had no idea how all this happened. "So, you don't know who was going to pay Ralph the ransom money?"

"No...I told him..." Joe stopped..._maybe he shouldn't say that. _

"Joseph, tell me right now what was said."

"Well, I was really confused Pa, then I figured out how to get back home." Joe hesitated..." I told them they could ransom me to you for a million dollars more than the man that hired them." No sound was heard and Joe finally had to peak at his Pa's face. _Poor Pa...he looked really red. _

"Joe....uh....did Ralph ever mention a name of the man?" Adam asked to fill the void.

"No...wait...it was Crowd or something. I don't remember because I was all upset over the gunfight." Joe slapped a hand over his mouth but the damage was done.

"Gunfight? You were in a gunfight?" Ben stood up, looked around the clearing then said decisively, "We are going to Carson City to a hotel." He mounted his horse..._he wasn't going to think about anything else right now, he needed a hotel room, and a bottle of brandy, then maybe he would hear the rest of the story. It was never best to punish Joe when he was angry....  
_

___________________  
_

"Ralph stop! I don't think they are following us." Eddy and the gang pulled up their horses. "That Billy sure has crazy relatives!"

"Yeah...I noticed that. And the more I think about, I'm not so sure they are Billy's relatives. Remember he was kidnapped by the gypsy's, and apparently these men came along an told him he was one of them....I smell something rotten here."

"What do ya mean, Ralph?"

"I mean I don't think those men are even named Best. And another thing, they called Billy, Joe. Now Billy's middle name might be Joe but I doubt it."

"You mean they plumb forgot his name in the all the confusion?" Eddy was trying to figure it out.

"Yep...that's it."

"What are we goin' to do?"

"Save Billy, of course. We're going to help him escape those crooks." The gang looked less than delighted but Ralph was their leader and he was so smart, they would follow him anywhere. "Let's head to Carson City, you can bank on them being in the best hotel in town, living off of Billy's money."

_____________________

Ralph knocked on the hotel room door. It was opened by a portly man asking him to enter. "Have you found Joe Cartwright?"

"No....well....not exactly." Ralph nervously twisted his hat. "You see when we held up the stagecoach, Joe Cartwright had all ready gotten off. So, we have been searching for him."

"Wasn't there a woman on the stage? She was suppose to point out the kid to you."

"There was just an old lady....and she was with her grandson."

"She wasn't an old lady, she was pretending to me an old lady, so the Sheriff wouldn't suspect her! Look, you go out and find that kid, he's got green eyes and medium brown hair. The Cartwrights are all ready on the trail to find him. Someone wired me from Virginia City that Ben was on his way here to Carson City."

"Yes, sir." Ralph walked slowly out of the hotel, _the kid had green eyes and brown hair....hmm, Billy Best had green eyes and brown hair...that was sure strange. Now, Ralph knew he wasn't the brightest man in the world but things were looking very suspicious to him. He needed to talk to Eddy, they were a good team, maybe they could figure this out. _

The Cartwright's had settled into their hotel room for the night. Adam and Hoss shared a room with Joe bunking in with his Pa. This was not the arrangement that Little Joe wanted, but Adam and Hoss didn't want to room with their father either. Finally, Joe was ready for bed after a quick bath, he pulled back the covers on the twin bed sighing with exhaustion. He hoped when Pa got back from the bath that there wasn't going to be any confrontations on Billy Best.

Ben was at a quandary about punishing Joe. _He was sick and tired of Billy Best. But, Joe might have been killed if he had been Joe Cartwright, so Billy Best had probably saved his life. But, Little Joe should have gotten in touch with him, by wire or went to the Sheriff. Little Joe said he couldn't do that with the gang watching him, and the Sheriff was an idiot_. All Ben knew was that his head hurt and he needed sleep. Taking a deep breath he opened the hotel room door, but he knew their would be no discussion tonight, Joe was sound asleep sprawled across the bed, with the covers hanging off the bed. Ben smiled, pushed Little Joe back into the right position, covering him again. "Goodnight, Little Joe." Ben leaned down kissing him on the forehead. They all needed a good night's sleep.

After a quick discussion the gang decided to kidnap Billy Best from the rest of his family. They had seen the Best family at the cafe then had watched them enter the hotel. The clerk had given them two keys to their rooms. Ralph and Eddy kept track of old man Best and Billy, while the gang tracked the two older Best boys.

Ralph and Eddy jimmied the lock open on Billy's door. They heard the old man lightly snoring so they tiptoed past his bed to find Billy. Billy was sound asleep and Ralph knew that Billy hated to be woken up so Ralph took the butt of his gun, knocking Billy in the head. "Shh...he won't wake up now." They carefully picked up Little Joe carrying him out the door down the hall to another room, laying him carefully on the bed, where they covered him up. They grinned at each other....they were safe.

All four members of the gang shared the other bed, with lots of tossing, turning and elbows. Tomorrow they would ask Billy Best questions, maybe they had found Billy or maybe they had found Joe Cartwright. Ralph and Eddy had even asked the gang, Lewis and Clarke, but they didn't' understand the question, they were followers not leaders. Soon, snoring filled the room, the rest of the night being peaceful in all three rooms.

_________________

The next morning Ben awoke later than usual. He had been exhausted with all the journeys he had taken to find his son. Rolling over in bed he turned to look at Little Joe but was surprised to see he wasn't in bed. Thinking that Joe must have went to the outhouse, he took a deep breath. Time to get up.

Fifteen minutes later, Ben thought that Little Joe must have went to see his brother's so he hurried to their room. "Hi boys, let's go eat." Ben looked around the room but didn't see his son. "Where's Little Joe?"

Adam and Hoss looked at each other then at Ben. "Pa...don't ya remember that he spent the night in your room?" Hoss was confused..._his poor Pa was having a hard time this week._

'Yes, I know that Hoss, but he isn't in my room, I thought he might have came here."

"No, Pa...we haven't seen him. Maybe he's in the outhouse. I'll go check." Adam ran out of the hotel to the backyard where the outhouse set. Knocking on the door he heard a old man tell him to go away he was busy...Adam looked around but Joe wasn't to be seen.

Ben and Hoss met Adam on the back steps. "He's not there. What should we do?"

Ben temper was rising with this latest escapade of Joes'. "Check the hotel dining room and every other place he can be, I'll get the Sheriff."

Joe groaned as he woke up, he had a terrible headache. Putting his hand to his head he felt a large lump on the top. "Pa?"

"Nah...it's just us Billy." Billy and the gang sat around the bed looking at Joe as they had been for an hour. "We didn't think you were ever goin' to wake up."

"I...why am I here? I was in the other room with...." Joe hesitated on what to call his father at this juncture. "Where are my relatives?"

"That's the thing Billy, are they you're relatives?"

Joe's heart missed a beat...."Why of course they are."

"No, you only _Think_ they are....I think they are just usin' you for your money. They aren't your relatives."

"They' aren't?" Joe for once was in a fog about what to say.

"Nope!" Ralph and the gang smiled at each other. "We figured it out for ya," Ralph beamed at his friend, "they hoodwinked ya."

"Really? I thought they might be tricking me." Joe didn't know what else to say. "Uh....how did I get here?"

"Oh," Ralph and Eddy and the gang laughed, "we just tiptoed into your room last night and brought you to this hotel room. That old man Best was sure surprised I can tell you when he found you missing this morning, he started ranted and ravin' and the Sheriff has been here too! It sure was fun to watch!" Joe smiled but dreaded seeing his father.

"Now...we have a few questions to ask you, Billy. We are suppose to be catchin' that Joe Cartwright, but the man that hired me told me a surprisin' fact! " Joe felt his face freeze with a smile.

'That Joe Cartwright, had brown hair and green eyes, just like you! What do ya think about that?"

Joe sat for a moment with a blank mind...but then his eyes lit up. "You're right!"

"Huh....you mean you're Joe Cartwright? I thought you were Billy Best!" Ralph and the gang looked confused and a tiny bit angry.

"Well, you see, the Best family that duped me is really the Cartwright family!"

The gang looked on with awe....they would have never guessed that!

"You see, they told me they were the Best family, but last night they told me they were the Cartwright' family. That is why I look like Joe Cartwright, because the Cartwright family told everyone I was their son, Joe!"

"Huh?" the gang echoed in unison.

"So you see, whoever hired you to kidnap Joe Cartwright, doesn't know that I'm Billy Best." Joe waited to see if the shoe would fall.

'Uh....well....that is somethin' all right."

Silence settled in the room until Ralph finally made a decision. "Can we ransom you to the Cartwright's still?"

"Sure, you can. They deserve that, don't they." Joe quipped.

Now Lewis and Clarke sat thru this whole explanation with a dumb look on their faces....until they put their heads together then raised their hand? "Uh...boss...I have a question?"

Ralph frowned at them but nodded his head.

"If you're Joe Cartwright and Billy Best....who are you goin' to be next?" Ralph jumped hitting them with his hat.

"You dummies ! He's going back to be Billy Best. Of all the crazy questions."

Joe looked at himself, he was still dressed in his nightshirt. "I can't go out like this, I need clothes. Lewis and Clarke you raise a ruckus outside, that will draw the Cartwrights then Ralph you sneak into my room and get my clothes. In the meantime I will write a ransom note."

Everything went to plan and soon Joe was sitting in his own clothes, finishing up the note to his father. He knew that he wouldn't be able to say the truth but he would be able to allay his father's fear that something had happened to him.

"Now, Ralph, you slip this note under the door to Adam and Hoss's room." Joe folded the note handing it to Ralph. "Don't worry everything will work out fine." At least Joe hoped it would, his Pa must be pretty angry by now.

Ralph rushed to the room, then back down the hall, just missing the Cartwright family coming up the stairs. Ralph hid behind the long curtains watching the Cartwrights open the door to the room.

"Look, Pa...a note." Hoss bent down to retrieve it, but it was pulled out of his hand by his father. "What's it say, Pa? Pa...." Ben ran out of the room with his two boys following him.

_I have been kidnapped again and this time they want twenty thousand dollars. I tried to talk them out of that amount but it is no use. Please take the money out of town to the cemetery, place the money under the rock on the grave of "Unknown Person." I'm fine and they are treating me all right._

_Billy_

Joe sat alone in the hotel room readying for the ransom drop. It wasn't in Joe's nature to worry about things, but he was cutting it to a fine point this time. He had wrangled the information from Ralph about the man that was going to pay for his kidnapping. It looked like Mr. Crowley, his Pa's friend...or enemy, was the master of the plan. Joe decided that he just couldn't see the gang in prison for life....or maybe the rope. He had to work out all the kinks in his plans....he didn't want to have his Pa ever find out the whole plot....Pa was mighty handy with that belt if he discovered his children doing the wrong thing.

The cemetery was a dark lonely place at the edge of night. Joe knew that the gang had to be in place before dawn because his brothers would be there early waiting for money to be ransomed later in the day. He just needed to figure out where Adam and Hoss would hide. Finally, he decided behind the tombstones of Hope and Crosby, they were near the road. Joe placed Ralph and Eddy behind the mausoleum. Now where should he hide? Joe walked the area back and forth before deciding on a large tombstone of Tom Burns. "Adam and Hoss will be here soon, do not make a sound, do you understand me?"

"Billy, when do we get the money?"

"After the money is left under the rock of the unknown person it will be watched. That will be my cue to walk out into the open running down past the graves to the open field. This will draw out the Cartwrights and then you grab the money and get out of here."

"Won't the Cartwright's be suspicious of you?"

"No... I think I can guarantee I will be all right. Now, you promise to take off and not come back to town. I will take care of Mr. Crowley myself. You go to Mexico or somewhere and hide out. Is that agreed?"

"What about your share of the money?"

" You can deposit it in the bank of Sacramento. Under the name Billy Best. Ralph, it has been a experience getting to know you and Eddy. Oh....remember Lewis and Clarke, you don't want to forget the gang before you leave. I really appreciate you telling me who wants me kidnapped."

"Sure Billy. You are the greatest man we ever met....and Eddy and I love ya like brother's." Ralph and Eddy hugged Little Joe hard, then wiped the tears from their eyes. "Will you write a book about us?"

"I'll try....now no more talking, it's getting light." Little Joe hid behind the tombstone wondering if he would survive if his father ever found out his latest scheme.

Right on cue Adam and Hoss appeared in the graveyard. Joe held his breath as they started toward the mausoleum, but then Adam pulled Hoss down the road to Hope and Crosby. Joe smiled to himself, _did he know his brothers or not? _About nine o'clock his father rode into the graveyard, dismounted, looking for the grave of the unknown person. Lifting the rock he placed the money on the ground then put the rock back on top of it. Ben looked around the area but didn't see Adam or Hoss, Ralph, Eddy or Little Joe. The graveyard was filled with people but quiet as a tomb. Mounting Buck, he rode out of the graveyard with fear in his heart for his son.

Joe waited ten minutes then walked out into middle of the cemetery as if in a daze. Adam and Hoss caught their breath watching him, then Joe took off like a gazelle running as fast as he could to the open field. "Joe! Joe!" yelled his brothers taking off after him. Ralph and Eddy smiled, collected the money and took off on their horses for Mexico, to heck with Lewis and Clarke.

Little Joe ran until his breath gave out then looked behind him, his brothers were gaining on him. He fell to his knees breathing hard. "Don't hurt me!" Joe screamed. The more upset he looked the better.

"Joe, boy, it's me Hoss." Hoss pulled Little Joe into his arms rocking him back and forth. Adam knelt down hugging his little brother hard.

"Joe are you all right? Did they hurt you?"

"I'm all right..." at the look on Adam's face Joe continued, "my head hurts where they knocked me out." Joe put his hand to head then he let Adam feel the lump on top.

"We'll have the doctor look after it. Come on, let's get the ransom money back." The three walked back to the grave of the unknown person, lifted the rock, but the money had disappeared. "They got it when you ran...we should have guessed that."

"I'm sorry, Adam, it's all my fault." Joe let tears slip down his face as he looked disconsolately at his brothers.

"Shh...it's all right, you're what's important." Little Joe hung his head in guilt, but not enough guilt to confess his sins.

____________________

Little Joe arrived home with happiness. He was sick of Billy Best. He had told his father who had tried to kidnap him and Mr. Crowley was now in jail. Everything had settled down without his family finding out that he had been a part of the plot. Soon, Little Joe was in school again, wishing that his father would let him quit. Little Joe thought he was in the clear when Roy Coffee appeared on their doorstep.

"Roy, come in. What brings you out here?" Ben motioned Roy to take a seat on the settee.

"Well, Ben, there was a funny telegraph message that came for Little Joe." Roy looked over at Joe, trying to read his face. "The message is for Billy Best aka Joe Cartwright." Joe's felt his face flame with color.

"What is it?" Everyone in the room could hear the trembling in Joe's voice.

"Well, it says, "

_**To: Billy Best aka Joe Cartwright  
We are safely in Mexico but lost Lewis an Clarke  
Your money on deposit you know where  
See you soon....have you started that book?  
**_

"I don't understand! " Joe backed up into Adam and Hoss. "That's a funny message."

"Joseph what does this mean?" Ben dark eyes tried to capture Joe's, but he was looking everywhere but at his father.

"How do I know, Pa....it sounds like a joke to me."

"Well, I thought it was a joke too, " Roy continued, "but I have another message for you."

_**To: Billy Best  
Need help.  
Looking for Ralph and Eddy  
In jail in Sacramento, California  
Lewis and Clarke.  
**_

"Joseph! What is the meaning of this? Do you have something to tell me?" Ben started walking toward Joe but Joe kept backing up toward the staircase.

"Pa, I can explain everything, it's really funny!" Joe ran up the stairs to his room with his father on his heels.

"I think our little brother is in trouble again." Adam said sweetly, "Roy would you like to see the new horses?" They all departed the house but the sound carried to the barn. "Let's walk down to the corral."

____________________

Two weeks later, Ben and Little Joe Cartwright entered the Sacramento Bank. Ben lead the way to the teller, "we need to withdraw some money."

"Yes, sir. The name on the account?"

Ben nudged Joe to speak up. "Billy Best."

"Let me see....yes,sir, I have your account right here. Ten thousand dollars. Are you sure you want to withdraw the total amount?"

"Yes." The clerk handed the money to Little Joe but it was taken quickly from his hand. Ben put the money in his jacket. They were just walking out of the bank when two masked men entered the bank, "get back inside!" Waving their guns around, everyone froze. "This is a hold up!"

Joe knew those voices...."Oh, no!" Joe turned so pale and faint that Ben had to hold onto him.

"What's wrong?" Ben said sharply.

Ralph and Eddy turned at the sound, "Why it's Billy Best! How are ya friend!"

"**JOSEPH!"**


End file.
